User blog:DancePowderer/742 Abridged
Title: You Can Never Get Rid of Me! Cover: Robin is really boring. Guy who is most likely Gatz: Kyros is Mr. 3000! Kyros: Competing in a potentially deadly battle because you were bored is not the best judgment call. Dold: This coming from the guy who decided to go easy for once? Kyros, you have a lot of pent up anger and borderline homicidal tendencies, so I'd like to offer you a job where you'll be around innocent people. So now, instead of carrying a sword to beat people en masse, you'll have to protect them. Ain't I a stinker? Scarlett: Seems like most people are willing to let go of the past, almost as if they forgot your homicidal tendencies. Why my dad let you into the palace is beyond me. That's right, I'm playing hard to get, motherfucker! Viola: Sister, your bitch level is at an 8, it needs to be a 3. Scarlett: How dare he employ a young upstart with everything to prove! I'll bring out the homicidal freak in you one day. Until then, stay away from us! Viola: But sis, this guy is actually- Scarlett: Bitch, how dare you see his true self by peering into his soul and contradicting my entire monologue! Unlike you, I won't get so many opportunities to be dramatic, so I'm taking as many as I can! Kyros: And I'm sworn to protect you two? Someone: The princess got kidnapped! Kyros: Are you okay? Oh, God, I had to touch you! Ew! Scarlett: Waahhhh! Damn it! I like you now! Kyros: Geez, what the fuck did you do to those pirates!? Dold: Oh no, this is terrible! Viola: Sister is making food? Dold: The last time this happened we were sick for a week. Kyros: No, I don't want it. Your dad got to me before you, thank God! Scarlett: This swing on a tree setting is nice, but it could be more romantic...I said COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC. Monet: What? Oh, right. Scarlett: Thanks, Monet, you're the best wingwoman (it's foreshadowing and a pun, get it?). Dold: Why do you want to leave my daughter's guard? Is it that you hate being part of the reverse harem that follows her around? Kyros: Maybe... Scarlett: Father, if I cannot ride that man's disco stick then I'm gonna die! Dold: Just for that, let's go for broke and throw a funeral. Citizen: She got sick and died. She would have made a fine queen one day. Kinda sick foreshadowing, but okay. Dold: Viola, why the hell are you crying? You should be happy. You just became first in line for the throne. Kyros: So, everyone thinks we're dead. Scarlett: Isn't it great! Kyros: We have a kid now. Your name is Rebecca. Rebecca: Perfect! Everyone is so focused on me that they won't even notice this is the only appearance of Dold's wife! She is doomed to obscurity! Scarlett: Kyros, pull your weight around here and take Rebecca! Kyros: But I married you to get away from responsibility! Scarlett: See that man over there, Rebecca: That's your daddy. Get used to him disappointing you. Kyros: She is cute, though. Fine, I'll watch over her. Scarlett: Dad, who are you fooling? Rebecca, this is your grandfather. When you think of him, abandonment will come to mind a lot. Kyros: Eww, toddler germs! But so adorable! Scarlett: Whoa, hey, shit's on fire. That's probably bad. Kyros: I swear, those Walpurgisnacht celebrations get crazier every year...Fine, I'll check it out. Wait for me at the flower field, yadayadayada. Kyros: Okay, country's on fire, king's sort of out cold on the ground, and flamboyantly dressed hoodlums are standing over him with malicious intent acting like it's no big deal. Hey, it's not his birthday! Doflamingo: My dumb king says to your dumb king "I'm going to set this place on fire." Kyros: Why am I in seastone? I have no fruit powers. You got that? You're the fruitiest bunch in here. Doflamingo: From one nutjob to another, I'd like to offer you a job. That being said, watch as I wipe out a bloodline. Kyros: Don't you know I'd give an arm or a leg for this country? Doflamingo: Sugar, what's that one song by that band you like? Extreme? Sugar: Play With Me! Buffalo: The amputee toy was able to escape with the king. How the hell did we let that one slip by? Dold: Yeah, I don't know you, but thanks. Kyros: An light rain as a dramatic backdrop. How cliche. Scarlett? What's she doing here? She never was good at listening. Civilian: Someone got shot! Kyros: I see, everyone's forgotten about me. One side, mortal! Scarlett: Who are you! Kyros: No! The humanity! Queue dramatic music and crane shot! Viola: Soldier! Thanks for the back story, but we got stuff that actually matters now. Luffy: You alright, bro? Viola: The enemy is approaching from the first floor. Kyros: Game over man! Screw the plan, let's just jump Doflamingo now! Looks like your other friends won't make it in time. By the way, you guys are pirates, right? Luffy: That a problem? Is my fame too much for you? Kyros: No. Glad to have you with us. Worker: The building is cracking up! Worker: It's Burgess! He's too funny. At this rate, he might just bring the house down. Sabo: So this is what it means to be alive! Wheeeee! Diamante: I killed your mom attack! Franky: Well, this sucks. Dwarves: Come on, Usoland! Toy: If that guy pulls this off, we will sing his praises, though I doubt he'd want that. Cavendish: If he pulls this off, I'll call off my vendetta with Straw Hat. Hajrudin: I will go from being Doflamingo's slave to being yours! Dagama: I'll pay you! Doflamingo: Trebol, get Sugar back here! Trebol: Hey, man, no worries. We got the problem taken care of. Sugar: You can have this grape back. Eat this and die. Dwarves: Warning, not to be eaten by or around those who are highly strung, have a heart condition, or have kidney problems, or by those who dislike masochistic torture. Usopp: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Sugar: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Trebol: Sugar? What are you doing? Don't make a liar out of me! Leo: Seriously? That's what did it!? Bitchin'! I hope you brought the music, because next chapter it's party time! Category:Blog posts